[quote style=”boxed”]You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. -Jim Rohn[/quote]

Take a moment and think of those people.

Who are they? How close are you to them? What do they do with their lives personally and professionally? Are they ambitious, successful, happy, optimistic, and enthusiastic? What are their core beliefs about work, money, life, family, health, spirituality, and their body?

Most of us have had the same friends, or group of friends for a long time. Perhaps, we’ve known them since birth or were childhood friends. Or perhaps you have made new friends as adults, but they have become your community or new family.

The reality is, that we are a direct representation of those who surround us. It’s inevitable that whoever we surround ourselves with we eventually become like. For some, this is fantastic because you have surrounded yourself with authentic people who push and encourage you. For others, like me – this was detrimental to my growth.

Most of us surround ourselves with toxic people. Now I’m not talking about people who are malicious, rude, mean or hateful (although perhaps). I am defining toxic as people who are unmotivated, uninspired, zap your energy or discourage you, encourage you to stay stagnant, hold limiting, fear-based beliefs, or simply don’t ever push themselves to become their best self. 

WOW!

If you are on a path of growth, change and ultimate healing of your body, mind or soul – you HAVE to look at your friendships. This is one of the hardest things you will ever be faced with doing. I know that none of us like to rock the boat, and no one wants to appear better than someone else. But this is a MUST!

If you don’t rid yourself of unhealthy friendship, you cannot live as your best self. You will be stunted in your growth, and ultimately participate in self sabotage.

I have had a hard time with this lesson, and have been in relationships all my life that did not serve my highest good. I was serving them. I have some heart breaking, and devastating experience with this that has resulted in a period of deep loneliness and grief. But can I tell you the truth? I have never been healthier in my life! I am moving in the direction that I want my life to move it. Change is rapid and growth is abundant.

[typography font=”Covered By Your Grace” size=”28″ size_format=”px”]Choosing Your Friends Wisley:[/typography]

 

• Make a list of people that you need to reduce time with in your list of 5 people. Have the conversation if you need to, or slowly create some healthy distance. This takes time and emotional processing. 
• Make a new list of people that you want to be friends with. Don’t know anyone yet? List out what the attributes of the person would be. Are there people you know, but have never met? Right down the names of those people.
• Find Your People. Seek out groups, clubs, activities where those people would hang out. Attend conferences those people would attend. Read the blogs your friends would read. Project and it will come.
• Date New Friends. When you’ve lost a support network, you may feel desperate for friends. I definitely did! Don’t jump into bed with just anyone. Date new potential friends. Find out from the beginning if they are takers, drainers or destroyers. Ask the right questions from the beginning and see what motivates them.
• Cultivate Authenticity from the Beginning. In order for you to not slip back into your old patterns, you have to be authentic from the get go. Share your real self from the beginning. Share your path of growth and change, share your excitement and passion. Don’t edit, be YOU.
• Be Open. Your new friends may not look, dress or talk like your old friends. Be open to finding your soul sisters and brothers in new places and faces.

Change is necessary for growth. Don’t shy away from this. You are not a mean, selfish person if you need to lose or ‘dump’ some friends. Remember that those people have been great for the time you have spent with them, but they are no longer resonating with the truth in your heart and certainly not helping you shine bright.

It’s time for you to shine bright! Surround yourself with people that inspire you! Your environment impacts every decision you make. Choose those friends who leave you feeling alive, grateful and inspired.

You deserve to be with people and in environments that support your BEST self!

Do you have toxic friendships that you need to take a good strong look at? Keep the conversation going and share in the comments below.