(This video is recorded from a Facebook LIVE session)
Think about your personal relationships. What is the level of intimacy? How can you cultivate more of it?
When you have to hide parts of who you are, or mold yourself into a specific version for someone… you can be sure that you lack intimacy. The reason we shy away from intimacy, is because we risk rejection. This is a very real thing. We have wounding here. But that is the only way. Vulnerability is the key to intimacy. Without it, it doesn’t exist.
“The degree of intimacy that you can have is the degree to which you are able to be authentic.”
There is no intimacy without authenticity. And you can’t earn intimacy, you have to cultivate it over time. You have to show up as your true self for this to work. When we are stuck in HIDING, we cannot truly connect.
So my sweets, how can we cultivate more intimacy?
1. Create safe space.
“Can you hold the space for me right now?”
2. Be Present.
“You have to remove yourself from distractions.” Sometimes intimacy is non-verbal. Sometimes it looks like just being.
3. Practice Listening.
You have to intimately listen… without wanting, aversion, or neutrality. Remember, you don’t have to fix anything. You can sit in it together.
4. Embrace Vulnerability.
“Risk being seen.”
This is not something we can demand of our friends or our partners. It’s something to be cultivated. And sometimes it’s not reciprocal at first. We have to respect the person and their boundaries. We cannot demand that they open up. It’s our journey to show up as ourselves, to do our own work, and hold the space if and when our partners want to share.