(This video is recorded from a Facebook LIVE session)
Last week I got to spend some beautiful time at the beach with my family. Now, I don’t know about you, but I always feel a little bit of dread when I’m going on a beach vacation. Thankfully, I was with my lovely family but I was still dealing with that dread of having to wear a bathing suit.
At one point my older sister Meagan and I were on the beach and we were both in our bathing suits. We had our feet in the water and we had this moment where we both looked at each other. We were so proud of each other for actually getting in our bathing suits, getting in the water, and fully enjoying this moment. I looked at her and said isn’t it sad that so many people miss out on this moment? They miss the sun on their back and getting in the water because of the intense body shame that they have.
People miss out on life because of how they feel about their body. I know this because I used to be one of those people. So it got me thinking about this topic. It is so important, especially for women, and I really think we need to keep this conversation going.
We never keep a belief or habit unless it is serving us. When we feel shitty about our bodies, there is a reason why we keep choosing to feel that way.
When I was 70 lbs heavier and struggled with a lot of depression and anxiety if you would have asked me if I was ready to loose weight or start treating my body with love I would have said YES! But the reality was that each pound was protection. Each pound served me.
When we get caught in self judgement, self loathing, anger towards ourselves, or shame, or when we feel ugly or fat…we are choosing to feel that way. That is actually not objective.
WHO SAYS WE ARE UGLY OR FAT?
So let me ask you this. Who in your life is saying that you are ugly or fat? Really think about this for a moment…. Who says your body isn’t good enough? Do you really value their opinion? Is it someone you know? Have they earned that right to dictate the happiness of your life and how you feel about your body? What gives them the right to make you feel shitty about yourself?
Let’s think about this for a second…
What does hating your body give you? Why do you continually choose to hate it vs love it?
3 REASONS TO HATE YOUR BODY
THIS IS TO HELP “UP” YOUR AWARENESS OF WHY YOU WE STAY STUCK IN OUR STORIES. WHY WE GET TRAPPED INTO THE “I CAN’T BECAUSE..” MENTALITY…
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE VULNERABLE OR USE YOUR VOICE.
It’s a way of protection so that other people don’t see you. You get to hide. You are allowed to shut down and not embrace intimacy. We can check out and not engage. When I was really overweight and sick I had the excuse of bailing out of things that I didn’t feel comfortable saying no to. I hadn’t learned how to use my voice yet. Meetings, work deadlines, social gatherings, family gatherings, etc – I always had a great excuse. I was sick. I learned how to run away from things that I didn’t want to face. Any chance that I would feel uncomfortable or awkward I could pull the sick or overweight card.
KEEPS YOU FROM HAVING FUN.
You get to play it safe. Playing is vulnerable and scary. Hating your body keeps you on the bench instead of out playing on the field. It sets us up to look stupid.
TAKES THE RESPONSIBILITY AWAY.
When we hate ourselves we put all the blame on something or someone else. In this case we’re putting the blame on our body. We get angry that it’s not where it should be, or our lack of control of our body. It’s great because the problem is always outside of ourselves so we don’t have to feel bad about where we are because it’s not our fault. We evade responsibility. It’s always outside ourselves and we become the victim. When we’re in the victim mindset, it lets us off the hook.
BONUS: Keeps us connected to other people. We live in a shame based self-hatred society.
You get to play it safe. You don’t have to connect.
But you are robbing yourself of LIFE. How many times have you been so distracted by your inadequacies of your body that you’ve totally missed out on being fully present? You were so caught up in your mind, you missed LIFE.
So now I will ask you…
WHEN WILL YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE YOURSELF? WHEN WILL ENOUGH BE ENOUGH?
If you choose to love yourself right now…How would you show up? What would shift in your life? If nothing had to be fixed, if you didn’t need to lose any weight, if you could love yourself right now in this body, what would happen? What would unlock? How would your relationships shift? What would you do that you haven’t given yourself permission to do?
2 WAYS TO COME BACK INTO LOVING YOURSELF AS YOU ARE
Begin to identify with other people that you are judging. That person is not an “other.” That person is you. Lay down the judgement. As long as we are judging other people we can be certain we are judging ourselves.
Become mirrors for people and their goodness. See the potential and extend the love. Compliment them. See them as awake even if they aren’t. Through this generosity you will begin to believe it for yourself and in reality it’s a reflection back to you. It opens the door up for love to flow to others and back to you. By saying to someone, I see you and you are beautiful you are in essence–you are actually saying that to yourself.