(This video is recorded from a YouTube LIVE session)
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“This idea of success can work – or at least appear to work-in the short term. But over the long term, money and power by themselves are like a two-legged stool – you can balance on them for a while, but eventually you’re going to topple over. And more and more people – very successful people – are toppling over.”
So many of us define success through our achievements. We are constantly thinking about what is next. We are successful if we make a certain amount of money. Bring on a specific # of clients. Or if our children behave well or get a scholarship. Or we have fabulous pictures on instagram. But even when we get the success we think we want, it leaves us empty and unfulfilled.
However, typically we are running after a certain type of success because we think it will earn us love. And so we put all these conditions on what it has to look like, and often times it’s not even what we want.
Usually when I’m feeling really pressured or overly stressed or in a state of anxiety and fear, it’s coming from a 2 dimensional definition of success that has make the criteria all about the DOing. I’ve reduced the feeling loveable game down to what I can create and accomplish. And obviously, there is a lot of pressure riding on that when we link it to our loveability.
So I am continually updating my definition of success and in a minute I will give you the opportunity to do the same.
We want to look at what would actually be fulfilling to your SOUL.
Because a successful business dominated by money and power does not mean you are living a successful life. There is so much more that needs to be considered for us to live an abundantly successful life in mind, body and spirit.
To make it easy: Let’s construction a new definition of success that will make it easy for ourselves to live our best life.
6 elements to create a new definition of success:
Element #1: Identify current Definition of Succes
What would have to happen in order for me to feel successful? What are the conditions?
It’s typically ego driven. And we’ll just hold off on any judgement towards that. None of this is bad… this is our starting place.
Element #2: Identify The Cost
What area of your life have you been neglecting to achieve your old definition of success? What have you had to sacrifice? What area of your life is suffering? Your relationships, health, body, time/sleep, self care, joy/play/fun, passions?
Element #3: Define your top 4 categories of life
If we want to move away from this 2 legged stool of money and power as the only things that define success, we are going to want to look at the other areas of our lives that make up our whole life and define which areas are most important to us to feel successful in.
Financial, Relationships, Spiritual, Self, Parental, Vocational etc
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Element #4: Explore Your Feelings
Choose 3 top feels that would define how you would feel for each category.
Examples:
Spiritual: I want to feel present, open, expansive, thankful, clear, focused, free, true and worthy.
Physical: I want to feel self love, sexy, vibrant, alive, radiant, rested, grounded, healthy, ease, at peace, and beautiful.
Wife: Deeply connected, physically and emotionally connected, secure, playful, appreciated, sexy, cherished, present, beautiful
Friend: At ease, accepted, authentic, open hearted, playful, generous, present
Mom: Light hearted, playful, appreciated, compassion, proud, generous
Element #5: Define the Rules
Create a list of new conditions or rules for you to easily be successful in each category.
In order for me to be successful in my relationship, these are my new rules. (Rig this in your favor)
What has to happen for you to feel X feeling, Y feeling, Z Feeling. Outside of money and power: What would success look like in each of these categories?
ELEMENT #6: The Result
Now you get to construction your new definition of overall success for your life given all the work you just did.
How can you add more life to your definition of success? How could you make it easy for yourself to hit? How could you word it that would allow it feel exciting to you. Expansive. Open. Radiant. Life giving. That would have you moving forward towards it rather that is feeling like something you should be doing. Your definition of success should light you up. It should feel magnetic.
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“I only want to hit my targets if the aiming and the hitting both feel good.”
