S2: EP 31- Fear is Your Friend

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Living Fully Alive Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify, and Youtube

SHOW NOTES

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“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”

— STEVEN PRESSFIELD

On this episode, join Mary and very VERY special guest Bentley Caldwell. Bentley is a model, actor, men’s fashion stylist and former musician. But he’s extra special because he is Mary’s boyfriend of 4 years.

Mary and Bentley sit down in their home to talk about fear from a fresh perspective.

Most of us are waiting to be fearless before we get out of our comfort zone, before we pursue our dreams and make the leap. But courage and bravery are so profound because it’s moving forward WITH fear present. The goal isn’t to get rid of our fear, the goal is to learn how to dance with it. If we allow it, fear can be a life changing messenger and teacher. It can be a tool to point us in the right direction and help catapult us into our purpose and greatness.

Whether we realize it or not fear is a part of our every day lives. Even outside of the current climate we are in, we are all experiencing fear on a regular basis.

Many of us ignore fear by trading it for excuses.

I’m too busy.

I’m not smart enough.

I’m not thin enough.

I don’t have the right education.

I have a family now.

The list goes on and on. I bet if we pulled back those excuses, fear is lying beneath most of them.

Often times we find ourselves creating an excuse to mask our fear because admitting fear is such a vulnerable thing to do. We may also believe the lie that we are the only ones experiencing fear. But opening up is contagious. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and admit fear gives permission for others to do the same. Rebirth happens in places of discomfort. In order to grow we have to be stretched.

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“My fear was a song with only one note – only one word, actually – and that word was “STOP!” My dear never had anything more interesting or more subtle to offer than that one emphatic word, repeated in full volume on an endless loop: “STOP, STOP. STOP. STOP!”

— elizabeth gilbert

We are taught that fear is an indicator to stop. That fear tells us what we should avoid.

What if we have it all wrong?

What if fear is present when its time to lean into something?

What if we allowed ourselves to admit that often the things we fear are the things we are most drawn to?

And then what if we allowed that fear to catapult us into our purpose?

Fear is also an opportunity to pause and recognize when something happening in our lives needs to be looked at closer. Instead of running when we feel fear and shutting down, we need to stop. We need to ask ourselves what is this and why am I feelings this way.

If we allow it to, fear can to be a messenger and a teacher.

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”

— marianne williamson

ON THIS EPISODE THEY TALK ABOUT…

-How fear’s job is to keep us safe

-The excuses we use to justify fear

-The vulnerability of discussing our fears

-Using fear to catapult you into your purpose

-The benefits of leaning into fear

-How fear can be an indicator of something that needs some attention

-How perfectionism is masked fear

-And much more!