S2: EP 41- Creating A Relationship That Lasts with Special Guest Kathryn Ely

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Living Fully Alive Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify, and Youtube

SHOW NOTES

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“…Respect for each other, liking each other and shared values. If you have those three things you can weather just about any storm…”

— Kathryn ely

On this episode, join Mary and special guest Kathryn Ely as they discuss keys to healthy long lasting relationships.

Kathryn is a former lawyer and stay-at-home mom. As her children transitioned out of the house she knew she wanted to pursue something different for her next season of life. She went back to school and earned her Masters Degree in Clinical Mental Health. She has a counseling and coaching practice in Birmingham, AL. She specializes in helping women discover their next purpose and the actions necessary to achieve their fulfilling next chapter. Listen as Kathryn shares the wisdom she has gained as a therapist and from her own 26 year marriage about how we can have relationships that change, evolve, and stand the test of time.

In our culture we don’t find many people whose relationships outlast the test of time. However, if the foundation of our relationship is mutual respect, liking each other, and shared values we will always have a place to come back to when the trials of life seem to be pulling us apart. You can change and evolve as a person but your values will always bring you back together.

In longterm relationships we may need to be intentional about remembering where we started in our relationships when things were fresh and new. If we feel like we have grown apart from our partner or we feel like there is a separation between us that is insurmountable, we need to revisit where we started. What was it at the beginning that drew us together? What attracted me to my partner? What did we do together that we both enjoyed? We need to get back into our behaviors that brought us together in the beginning. If we want our relationships to withstand the test of time we need to be able to lean in towards each other. When our partner reaches out we need to be open and attentive. Fully present and ready to lean in. We will get out what we put in.

We have to work to not fall into disconnection with our partner no matter how long we have been in relationship. One important way to do that is to have a plan for the future. If we have a plan for the future and common goals it gives us a place of connection. It also gives a reason to have consistent conversation about the common goals we share. We can keep in connection and plan for your common future, while also being secure enough to let the other person change. Creating a space of freedom in your relationship where you support the evolution of your partner, where you help them become what they are supposed to become, where you have the security to allow them to change and evolve, while maintaining those values and goals that brought you together is key to a long lasting healthy relationship.

On This Episode We Will Discuss

-Why some relationships last and others don’t

-How to move from apathy to connection in your relationship

-Why expectations are a recipe for resentment

-Setting firm boundaries to keep your relationship feeling safe

-Tips to weather whatever life throws at your relationship

-Why understanding your values lead to fulfillment in your relationship

-And much more!

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I know that creating honesty and intimacy in a relationship is harder than it sounds, and sometimes we need a little help to invite our relationship into a deeper level. So I’ve created 10 questions you and your partner can ask each other on your regular date nights.