Living Fully Alive Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify, and Youtube
Show Notes
“To clearly communicate needs, you must first understand them.”
Dominique has had the privilege of working in a variety of therapeutic settings. She has held positions with qualifications in marriage and family therapy, behavior Intervention, community mental health, and family focused therapy . She provides behavior focused support and systemic treatment to families and individuals, in a variety of community settings. Her specialties foster the treatment of complex attachment issues. She adapts Attachment Focused Therapy and Experiential Therapy, to instill insight and tools to foster healing and freedom. Her practice primarily focuses on complex men’s issues and women’s issues that promote healing of relational, and transnational wounds that are experienced by all walks of life.
Attachment theory is the nature in which we relate to some of our most primary attachments including our parents, siblings, and partners. For most of us the way that we attach in relationship began with our first relationship with our primary caregivers. If family of origin is where we learn how function in the world, those patterns will need to be worked on in order to learn towards a secure relationship.
You can have attachment wounds and still be secure in a relationship. You can also be mostly secure and still have triggering moments This is ongoing work. You don’t arrive.
These responses to our needs being or not being met are functional responses that we need for survival. For most of us, we carry these patterns into our adult relationships even when those responses are no longer needed. Becoming aware of our attachment style and how it began gives us the opportunity to move into a more secure attachment style. When we begin to see our patterns we can decide if this is working or not working, and make changes accordingly.
Awareness of self is recognizing why you do what you do and how you view the world. This is the foundation of better understanding of health in a relationship.
Signs of the 3 Primary Attachment Styles
Anxious Attachment
-Deep desire for connection
-Anxiety will show up when the partner seems to be disengaging
-Fear about your partner leaving
-Making unhealthy bids for connection
Avoidant Attachment
-Find their security in themselves
-Gives mixed signals
-They will withdraw when things start getting too close
-Ghosting or leaving on read
-Find their meaning in work
-In general they don’t feel safe in relationship
Secure Attachment
-They can allow their partner the freedom to take space without fear that they won’t return
-Receives the needs and concerns about their partner without feeling defensive
-Are able to meet their own needs and their partners as well
Steps to Move to a More Secure Attachment
1) Understand why you respond the way you do. Is your response a trigger or a trauma that needs healing?
2)Find a professional therapist that you can connect with.
3)Choosing to respond the way a securely attached person would until that becomes your natural response.
4)Pay attention to needs that might not be communicated or are being met that are causing you to respond the way you are.
5)We heal within the context of relationship. We can’t heal ourself by just reading. We need to allow ourselves to be in safe relationships where both partners are willing to work together.
ON THIS EPISODE WE WILL DISCUSS…
-What attachment theory is
-How to identify the signs of each of the 3 main attachment styles
-How your attachment style can change over time
-Communication tips for each attachment style
-Tips for becoming more secure
-Why it’s helpful to recognize your attachment style
-And much more!
I know that creating honesty and intimacy in a relationship is harder than it sounds, and sometimes we need a little help to invite our relationship into a deeper level. So I’ve created 10 questions you and your partner can ask each other on your regular date nights.
THIS IS MY FREE GIFT TO YOU!
SEASON 2:
Each month will be a deep dive into a topic that supports you on your journey to living more fully alive. June’s topic will be on RELATIONSHIPS.
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Date Night Questions PDF: https://maryhyatt.com/datenight
Connect with Dominique: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/dominique-gabrielle-braden-nashville-tn/369706
Psychology Today Attachment Assessment: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/relationships/relationship-attachment-style-test
Fully Alive Circle Membership Waitlist: https://maryhyatt.com/circle
Babe, Redefined 6 Week Course: https://maryhyatt.com/baberedefined
Full List of Episodes & Show Notes: https://maryhyatt.com/show
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