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“The purpose of the pruning is to improve the quality of the roses, not to hurt the bush.”
Join Mary on this episode as she wraps up this month’s topic of Necessary Endings. Throughout the course of our lives we will all experience our fair share of letting go. Often these aren’t things that we are in control of. But what about the things we are in control of?
If you know anything about gardening you know that pruning is a part of keeping your plants healthy, thriving, and flourishing. It is the same with your life. The process of personal pruning, and intentionally cutting things out of your life, is the process needed to truly live your life fully alive.
Pruning is something we consciously choose.
It’s choosing to see what parts of your life are stale, stagnant, unhealthy, poisoned, toxic, withering, distracting, habitual, old….and deciding to let them go so that you can be healthier mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
When we choose to cut off the things in our lives that aren’t living, aren’t producing fruit, are weighing us down, and aren’t giving us life, we create room for new and fruitful growth.
The gardener intentionally and purposefully, cuts off branches and buds that fall into any of these three categories:
1) Healthy buds/branches that are not the best.
2) Sick branches that are not going to get well.
3) Dead branches that are taking up space needed for the healthy ones to thrive.
“In order for the bush to thrive, a few has to go, and end their role to the life of the bush. Without pruning, you don’t get the best roses. Without pruning the bush is just average and far less than what they prove to be. Like rose bushes, your life also needs the same three types of pruning to be all that you desire. Good cannot begin until bad ends.”
5 Step For Intentional Pruning
- Visualize Your Future: Visualize where you are headed – your ideal future. At your best, highest self, most successful, most fulfilled, healthiest etc…. What does that future look like. Where are you wanting to go, what are you wanting to create? We have to start here. With the desire for growth, having a destination in mind.
- Get radically honest: Get honest with where you are. This is your “Come to Jesus moment”. what’s stuck in your life? What’s holding you back? Meet yourself with understanding and no judgement – identify the psychological or physical road blocks – what’s in the way?
- Control Your Mindset: Unsupervised mind is like a 2 year old with a machete. It’s wild. It’s going to go back to old limiting beliefs if you let it because it’s stuck in a habitual way of thinking. So you have to Interpret this from a place of empowerment, not shame or guilt. This is the mindset work piece. How you define this pruning, the meaning you give it is crucial to execution.
- Commit to the pruning: This is where you have to get clear on the actual steps it will take to prune. What does pruning look like for you? What are the tangible steps? I would literally write these out in a numbered list in my journal. Also really get clear on why this has to happen now, find that internal motivation of urgency. Because the truth is, typically whatever it is that we are choosing to release, walk away from and let go is going to be hard. It might be mildly hard like giving up a habit, or really freaking hard like leaving a relationship. Walking into our futures is one of the bravest things that we can do, and chances are you’ve already done a really good job at avoiding this discomfort. So it’s really helpful to enlist some support and accountability for the pruning.
- Make Space for grief: The reality is that grief is inevitable. You are literally letting something go. Grief is so powerful because it allows us to acknowledge the loss without pretending we aren’t leaving something behind, but it’s also acknowledging the ending. Grief gives us the opportunity to move forward by really being present for that space of transition… the space that happens between the past and the present and into the future. Grief takes time, it requires presence and attention. Allowing ourselves to feel sad, confused, angry…is a natural process to the pruning process. It’s hard. But it’s productive.
This is your choosing, you are doing the pruning. How powerful is that! You are in the drivers seat. This is where you you take a stand for your life and choose LIFE. Choose to not be a victim anymore, but actively and intentionally claim the life that you are always hoping and wishing you had. In order for anything to grow and prosper you must let go of what is robbing you of the energy and life force you could be spending on creating that life. It is time…
ON THIS EPISODE WE WILL DISCUSS…
-The definition of pruning
-Taking responsibility for your life and proactively pruning your own “garden”
-The 3 categories that are ripe for pruning
-Actively participating in creating the life you desire
-Mary’s 5 step process for intentional pruning
-Embracing grief as we let go and move into our future
-And much more!
Each month will be a deep dive into a topic that supports you on your journey to living more fully alive. October’s topic will be on Necessary Endings.
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