S2: EP70- 5 Steps To Feel Confident

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Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.

Show Notes

Join Mary as she kicks off this month’s topic of Body Confidence! Despite what culture tells us, most people will tell you the thing they find the most attractive about a woman is confidence. Confidence can often feel elusive. Either you have it, or you don’t. But true confidence comes when you walk in the knowledge that you are lovable. 

We are bombarded constantly being told that we are flawed and that in order to be loved we have to fix our “flaws”. In order to be confident we have to change certain things about ourselves. 

But the truth is that even in your flaws you are enough. No matter what you look like, how you age, how your body changes, you are loved. Feeling confident in this means that you know that your lovability isn’t ever on the line. Confidence is knowing that you are unconditionally loved. 

We often see people with confidence and we believe that they were just born with that. But even the most seemingly confident people can struggle with insecurity. But we are all worthy of love. Confidence is a soul thing, not an ego thing. The ego game of confidence is not winnable. But if we put our soul in charge of our confidence we believe that our worthiness isn’t up for negotiation. In order to feel confident we have to come from an unconditional soul mind. There is nothing you can do to earn your lovability or to lose it.

Confidence starts in your mind, not your body. 

For most of us, coming to this place is a journey. It is a journey that has nothing to do with your body and has everything to do with your mind. The good news is that this kind of confidence can be learned! Once you learn it, everything in your life will work for the better. But it takes practice. When you move forward even when you are scared to be seen, you will begin to flex your confidence muscle. Little by little you will come into your power more. You will know that you can show up, even with all your flaws, and know that you are fully loved. 

The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.

5 Step Process To Feeling More Confident

  1. Define Confidence  – What does that actually mean to you? What does it look like? What does it feel like? 
  2. Find a role model – Find an image of what it would look like. This helps to create a  visual for yourself. You need something in your mind to work from. We have to see it first before we can create it. Start noticing people that are confident. 
  3. Roll Back – Remember a time when you did feel confident and recreate that moment. What did you do in the past when you felt confident?
  4. Act as if– Acting creates Confidence. Confident people walk a certain way, talk a certain way… Honestly in this case, it’s faking it until you make it. You have to try it before it feels natural. There comes a point, where you just have to do it.
  5. Celebrate – After you’ve tried to act as if it might feel awkward or you might seem silly, so you have to pause after the attempt and celebrate. Celebrate your bravery, Your willingness to show up and be seen. THAT IS THE MOMENT THAT CONFIDENCE IS CREATED. When you do something awkward at first and then you celebrate that is the secret. 

When you move forward in choosing to be seen even when you are scared, you build that confidence muscle. You realize that you won’t die. And that little by little you will feel more in your power. And remember, your lovability is not on the line. Confidence is sexy because it’s the willingness to show up fully human and know you’re still loved. Flaws and all. 


The essence of confidence

– The problem with your ego dictating confidence

– Embracing your lovability

– The ever changing standards of beauty

How to define confidence for yourself

Seeing confidence as a skill set

Your unique recipe for confidence

Mary’s 5 step process to feeling more confident

And much more!


Each month will be a deep dive into a topic that supports you on your journey to living more fully alive. February’s topic will be on BODY CONFIDENCE. 


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