S4: EP6- Why is everyone ghosting?!? With Dr. Rob Murray


Living Fully Alive Podcast available on Apple PodcastGoogle Podcast, and Spotify.


Join Mary and her special guest, Robert Murray. Rob joined us for an episode in season 3 and we are thrilled he is back this season to talk about ghosting. Hailing from Cape Town, South Africa, Rob graduated from Stellenbosch University before moving to the United States in 2002. His professional journey led him to complete a Master’s degree in Social & Civic Entrepreneurship, and he just earned his Doctorate in Transformational Leadership. Rob is the CEO and co-founder of Transformed Leader, a leadership research, coaching, and consulting company that helps mission-driven organizations and leaders address and overcome their greatest challenges. Rob is a highly effective and experienced change agent for personal and professional growth amongst executives and corporate culture. He is the host of the “Talk of Change” Podcast opening up conversation around his work and research to drive emotional intelligence and transformative change.

Have you ever been ghosted? Or maybe you are a ghoster? It has become common in our culture to manage our fear and anxiety of letting people down by just vanishing. When we do this we often leave people in a place of having to finish the story on their own. Our brains desperately want closure and often the way we fill in the blanks of that story is rooted in our old stories of rejection and shame about who we are. Being IN relationship means someone else is impacted by our behavior. Situations of ghosting are usually rooted in people pleasing, indirect boundaries, and fear of letting people down and both parties suffer. When we are focused on ourselves or our own shame we miss the opportunity to give the other person closure and potentially a deeper conversation to create healing and possibly resolution or a solution. Join us on this episode as we talk about how many of the ways we attempt to stay safe in relationships are strategies that don’t give us what we really want. 


What is “ghosting”

Reasons we abruptly leave hard conversations  

Why we need to increase our capacity to sit in discomfort  

Common strategies we use to diffuse anxiety in relationships

The difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict

The problem with using the withdrawal tactic in relationships

Confusing distance and cutoff with healthy boundaries

– And more! 



Connect with Rob Murray: https://drrobmurray.com


Text Me: https://maryhyatt.com/text


Follow Me On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maryghyatt/ 


Full List of Episodes & Show Notes: https://maryhyatt.com/show


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